Loneliness
by Bunny-n-Bear
Summary: 5 pieces of men who will be forever lonely. Unrelated. In order: Orihara Izaya, Heiwajima Shizuo, Takahashi Hitoshi, Nishi Akihiko, Homusubi  3 OCs. sorry
1. Orihara Izaya

**Orihara Izaya**

You overdid it again.

You took your curiosity too far

So far, that you can't head back now.

You optimist.

How does it feel to play god?

What kind of god have you chosen to be?

No, you're right. Let's talk about your human side

After all, you are human.

It's not the simple curiosity that drove you so far.

Although, let's face it, you were a curious boy

But no.

What made you panic?

Whatever it was, it made you long for the one thing every human being cannot get a true hold of

Control

Now, it may be that a boss has some control among his employees

And, yes, the teacher does have some control over students

And of course parents have an uneasy grip on control on their children.

Then why didn't you want to be one of these?

Because you want complete control.

Physical control isn't enough for you, is it?

You want the ability to control lives, losses, emotions.

Interesting, considering that you yourself said that was impossible.

But, everyone is entitled to their dreams.

It's a shame you found out too late that gods work alone.

What? Consider Greek Gods?

Oh, haha, I quite like them.

Yes, I suppose they interact. But they split power.

If you were ever to obtain complete control,

Would you ever be willing to share that?

Of course you wouldn't. You're just a child after all.

A child playing god all by himself.

A child who forgot he was playing.

You corrupted your own mind, you know that?

All those complexions that some long for remain inside of you.

And you can't fit in.

It's not because you're different. Everybody in the world is different.

It is perhaps because your difference is noticeable.

While other humans have small quirks and characteristics to separate them a slight bit, your difference consumed you whole.

If you think about it, you are your difference.

Haha, does that make sense?

I wonder...

Anyways, your difference is an ugly scar in a superficial world.

A scar you can't get rid of.

You're branded, Mr. Information Broker.

For a game you forgot to stop playing

For a game, that now, you couldn't stop playing if you wanted to.

So you continue playing.

Let's say gods exist, Mr. Information Broker.

That they had a form.

It's sad, your life.

Sometimes I consider crying for you

Because no one else will.

So gods exist.

And humanity denies you because they don't understand you.

Therefore, you are socially shunned by humanity.

The gods don't even notice you because you are insignificant to them.

You're not even shunned by them.

Not quite human, not quite god.

It's a lonely life out there, Mr. Orihara.

You're brave enough to smile the way you do.

You're daring enough to have your revenge on humanity the way you do.

You love humans

Because they don't love you back.

Or is it something else?

Ah, I won't prattle on the subject if you don't want me to.

I'll let you get back to playing.

You have a busy life, after all, playing god.

It's harder than it looks right?

And you can't share your troubles with anyone

I suppose you can, but they wouldn't understand you.

No one will ever understand you.

But you understand them.

Is that why you love humanity?

Ah! Right! No prattling!

I'll let you play your game

On a peddle stool

Out of reach.

You overdid it again.


	2. Heiwajima Shizuo

**Heiwajima Shizuo**

You're a monster

Simply put.

A victim of circumstance

Really.

I mean, if people look at you, you seem human.

If people talk to you, you seem human.

You're practically human.

Except there's only one flaw with you.

Your strength.

This strength you contain manifests into violence.

Because it's something out of your control.

Unlike the pro-wrestler who gets cheered on by a crowd

You fight your troubles away

With no crowd.

Because someone in the crowd might make a mistake

And you can turn on them.

The world is your enemy

But you want it to be your friend.

You can't help yourself.

You, too, are just a child.

A child who just cannot compromise with the injustice in the world.

Simply put, you're innocent.

Perhaps your innocence surpasses that of a new born child

No, I'm not kidding.

The only difference is your strength.

No, it's not your temper.

There are people with nastier tempers.

It's how you act on your emotions.

The only way your mind compromises situations is through violence.

To protect someone, you use violence.

To make someone leave, you use violence.

To show you're angry, irritated, upset, confused

You use an irrational thing

Violence.

And it seems completely rational to you

Because it just comes so easy to you.

While everybody else needs to be pushed to the limit to demonstrate any type of violence, to you, this limit is something considered limitless.

It's sad, really.

Have you heard of Darwin's Theory of Evolution?

Physical attributes that ensure the survival of human kind.

If human beings were in danger to being extinct

You would probably survive.

Too bad for you, human beings aren't in danger.

Not that you'd want that.

The child in you wouldn't want that.

What I'm saying, is that there's no need for your genetic physical attribute.

So you just stand out like a stick in the mud.

I believe that's the expression...?

Such a primitive instinct in an urban city.

It just doesn't belong.

You don't belong.

Which is a shame, because you're so innocent.

You don't deserve this, Mr. Heiwajima.

You really don't.

But you're like a sacrificial lamb

This power is so raw, that in anyone else's hands, it would probably be abused.

It needs a pure soul like yours.

People should thank you for being the one who has such a power.

But they don't understand.

You're marked.

And no one loves someone who could hurt them.

Even if someone were to love you,

You wouldn't allow it.

Rather, the child inside you won't allow it.

If you were to hurt someone you love, you wouldn't be able to live with yourself.

And to live, you have to at least be happy with yourself.

So you resolved to not love anyone. You shunned this emotion from yourself for the sake of humanity.

Yet another sacrifice you made.

But that doesn't stop that churning desire, does it?

Even you, sacrificial lamb, has a small selfish desire

To feel loved.

You refuse to give it, but you want to take it.

Which is only natural.

But the world doesn't work that way.

No matter how pure

How childish

How noble

You are.

That doesn't matter.

Because, in the end,

By human standards,

You are still

Just a monster.


	3. Takahashi Hitoshi

**Takahashi Hitoshi**

Your love knows no boundaries.

Yeah, that's the thing.

Your love is boundless and real.

Raw like everything you admire.

That's the problem.

It doesn't matter how many couples say their love is something no one ever felt.

Because your love surpasses it.

Your love surpasses the love of the longest lasting couple in the world.

Your love surpasses that if a parent and their child's.

That's the problem.

You love every human being.

Every single one.

This would include the dead.

But the only way to feel close or intimate to them would be to know their insides.

Because you so dearly love humans.

Every single aspect of them.

Especially their flaws.

But humanity hides their flaws.

Your forced to force them out.

What's the other name for you?

Loveless.

But love is all you give.

Why do you kill people?

Because you love them.

How twisted.

Normal people express their love by flowers and chocolates and affections.

Yet you express yours with a surgical knife.

Because your love is the most profound love in the world.

To settle down with anyone romantically

Would be an insult to the love you contain.

Yes, romance is an insult to your love

Your love that isn't friendly or family-like.

It's a big responsibility your holding on your shoulders.

To truly love people.

But the way you express it isn't right to humanity.

You're a serial killer.

There's something wrong with your head.

Because no one has ever loved as deeply as you do.

To settle down would be selfish.

To settle down would mean to give up on your profound love.

It would be selfish to humanity who would lose such a strong lover

And selfish to your given partner who you wouldn't be able to actually love romantically.

You can't win.

No one loves a serial killer, you know that, right Mr. Takahashi?

Although you live with someone, the only reason you live with that person is because you can't stand living alone.

You're human, after all.

But you know that person is incapable of loving anyone.

You don't even love yourself.

Why is that?

How can you love everyone but yourself?

How could you shun yourself

From yourself?

What makes you so unlovable, Mr. Takahashi?

Why don't you even like yourself?

Is it your inability to hate?

How even pacifists can even hate something such as violence

But you just can't hate anything.

That makes sense, I suppose, considering how much you admire hate.

But you also admire purity, right?

Pure souls attract you like a light attracts moths.

Pure hate

Pure love.

Would you like to be loved by a pure soul, Mr. Takahashi?

That would be selfish?

Ah, Mr. Takahashi.

Your love knows no boundaries.


	4. Nishi Akihiko

Nishi Akihiko

The most selfish man in Ikebukuro.

Scratch that, the world.

But all you do is give and give and give.

What goes on in your head, Mr. Nishi?

If anyone knew or could see all the thoughts that float in your head

They'd be downright scared.

Everyone thinks you calculate with your heart

When really, you calculate with your head.

People think you act in the heat of the moment

When really, your contemplating actions and reactions before you do anything.

These calculations are just done quickly.

You're quite the genius.

You act like a fool on purpose.

Letting people use you

Just to amuse yourself by seeing how abusers act.

You also notice everyone is different.

Abusers take many shapes and attitudes.

But in the end, that's all people are

Abusers and takers

It doesn't technically have to be a materialistic item people long for

But people all want something.

And Mr. Nishi, you always give them what you want.

Because you're selfish.

Oh so selfish.

The world isn't the world for you.

It's a playground.

Your domain.

People are your toys.

Breakable toys

Replaceable.

People love you anyways.

Not you

But what you stand for.

And yet

Your incapable of loving in return.

Because, if you choose to love one person,

All the other toys won't allow you to play with them.

And that's all that really matters to you, doesn't it?

Besides, you don't know how to love.

You're trying to learn how to care.

But can't seem to manage to do it.

Because it's just too amusing to see people fight over you.

It's so hard to care for one person if they might change position on the priority list.

And if they die.

Hard to care about them afterwards.

Ah, the priority list.

A thing to assure you that people fight for you.

To assure you that people care about you

I mean, what you stand for.

You forgot to feel truly happy.

Because you just don't seem to care.

So you steal people's happiness for yourself.

Because, in the end, the only child playing in your playground is you.

You have all these toys.

But no one else to play with.

Then you wonder if you would want someone to play with.

Because you always wonder things like that.

Your happiness is the only thing that matters.

You want it back

No matter what.

You are, by far, the most selfish man in Ikebukuro.


	5. Homusubi

**Homusubi**

A life of crime

That's all you ever knew

It's all you ever will know.

Not even in family, do you feel normal.

Your dad encourages your disruptive behavior, right?

Do you know why he does that?

To turn you in and get the compensation when you become famous?

Ah, but we're not going to talk about that.

What's so different about you?

The man whose real name no one knows.

Even as a child to be pushed into crime.

You do it so well

But that's all you do.

Living a life of lies where you lie to people

And yourself

Being forced into destruction.

Even as your father abused, there was something you clung onto. You clung onto this because it was the only difference, the only thing your father couldn't take away from you.

You wanted to be loved.

But who could love someone that lies to even himself?

Who are you really?

A young man with an open face who tricks people for money.

But you don't really care about money, do you?

You're not attached to such materialistic things. That's how you can leave a place and burn it before cops could arrive.

Burning things.

Haha, I forgot to mention that's what your desire is.

You're a pyromaniac, after all.

You got rejected constantly, day after day, night after night.

No one could take you seriously

No one could trust you.

You couldn't even trust yourself.

Such a strong rejection of the only difference between you and your father.

You couldn't let it go.

You didn't let it go.

Longing for the strong raw feeling of love, you turned to the only thing that represented the same passion.

Fire.

You say you're attracted to men.

But would you be willing to accept a woman's love if she tried to give it to you?

Or would you stay to saying you're "attracted to men" simply because its statistics that prove men burn bigger fires when in a jealous fit?

I can't tell. No one could tell with you.

You long for love, but how do you see humanity?

You're not like Kuroname Aoba who hates humanity nor are you like Orihara Izaya who loves it

But you aren't normal

Because to you, people are simply obstacles

To burn up

In a never ending fire.

Perhaps when you find out who you really are, you'll finally be loved.

But you're not willing to try.

You're afraid of life without crime.

It might be impossible to you now.

A life of crime.

That's all you ever knew

It's all you ever will know


End file.
